A Hole in the Bucket

I’ve been thinking about all the rambling I’ve done so far this year and I keep landing at this children’s song, “There’s a Hole in the Bucket.”  Be glad I haven’t been thinking about small worlds.  Enough said.  Anyway, the lyrics following my rambling this week.  So you can sing about my meanderings for far too long!  Enjoy.

Poor Liza and Poor Henry with the hole in their bucket.  And still we expect them to be successful and end with the ever popular answer after 10 problems, we fall back on use your head.  I think we might do this in my field of work too.  I remember being on my learning journey for our Breaking the Cycle of Poverty project years ago and seeing a list of 12 things, the single mother of twins had to do that day, including AA, NA, Al-Anon, parenting and more, ending with get a job.  How in the world was that going to happen?  Use her head.  I don’t think so.  I think she used her head to get through her day with twins, attend meetings and ultimately she got a job that gave her promotions.  There were still lots of holes in her bucket.

I think about what would happen to me if my house burned down.  (Please don’t.)  What would I do?  I’d have plenty of places to go.  There’d be a giant hole in my bucket though.

My fascination in life has always been what do you know, who taught you and when did you learn.  I was talking about success last night with an amazing college student I know.  She was relating a story that success meant money and a job to someone she admires.  I thought success meant happy.  She talked about needing an adulting class.  I immediately thought there’d be holes in the bucket.  Because someone who was taught by someone at some point would be sharing what they know.  And that teacher may think success means happy or secure or wealthy or ok.  And then what.  I leave you with this song to sing and thoughts about where do you see holes in our bucket.

United Way is about ready to do our once every two years applications review, site visits, panel training and decision-making.  If you’re interested, email me at deeanne@unitedwayofjacksoncounty.org.  We’d love to have you, even if you sing this song…

There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

Then mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry, mend it.

With what shall I mend it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I mend it, dear Liza, with what?

With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a straw.

The straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long,

Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

With a knife, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a knife, dear Henry, dear Henry, with an knife.

The knife is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The knife is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.

Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it.

On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, on what?

On a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
On a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, in what?

In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, a bucket.

There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

Use your head, then! dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use your head, then! dear Henry, dear Henry, use your head!

Cheerio,

Dee Anne

Losing Sight

Losing Sight

I can’t stop thinking about losing sight.  This week, my mom was diagnosed with macular degeneration.  She loves to read.  She never has attached to technology so I think of ways to share her love of reading with the loss over time of her sight.  Maybe she’ll like audio books but I really don’t know.  If you have advice, throw it my way.  I’m open to all ideas.

And as usual when my mind wanders, it comes to our work.  And I think how easy it is to “lose sight” of or not know or forget or disagree about what the point of our work is.  I’ve gotten very refined about my work this year and it’s only mid-February.  I know it’s to not contribute to further wreckage in people’s lives.  Today I heard a sermon that for me that was about my work.  It was naming that sometimes when we help people we use a language of the courts or criminal justice, sometimes we use a language of medicine and sometimes people of faith use a religious language for the wreckage in people’s lives.  For me, I’d like less to talk about what the wreckage is and more about what is our job as community.  What do we need to do to be of service?  To actually help?  And what language do we use to help.  Does it matter?  It might because not naming the help might create more wreckage.

I remember years ago participating in a women’s group.  We were doing a storytelling exercise about our own lives and one of participants shared that her father was blind.  She shared stories of growing up with someone who couldn’t see.  All I got from her story and what I still remember today was wow the vision he gave her led her to a life of such purpose.  Still today, she does important work in Southern Oregon to really help people.

So this is my own ask for you to help me not lose sight of our work.  With me?  Sure hope so because we need you.  Here’s to vision, with or without sight.

Hope and Wreckage

Some days I’m more hopeful than others.  How about you?  Some days you do need to see Winnie the Pooh animated dancing to just take a deep breath.  Here’s the link — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOeT6LBLkMU

I’ve been thinking a lot about wreckage.  I often thought of it in terms of cars (my mother died in a wreck when I was 2 1/2.) or ships or airplanes.  I haven’t often thought of it in people’s lives.  We all have a bit of wreckage in our lives I think.  It may look like a bad day to some and it may look like a bad life.  We’ve been helping people in a particular situation right now and it’s the first time in 21 years that I’ve had pushback about the people we help.  Well, guess what….if we didn’t help people with wreckage in their lives, what are we doing all day?  United Way is safe harbor to help people in need.  You give.  You know you did a good thing.  And people are helped.  You don’t have to know them.  I know this can sound like a rant.  It’s not.  It’s just saying that we help people every day who have some wreckage.  It can be longer term; it can be shorter term.  It can be an episode or chronic.  And sometimes it is only because of their birth that they need help.  A 5-month old burned out of a building isn’t a bad person.  When does that shift?  Even in the midst of all this, I remain hopeful for a brighter future in our community.  People heal.  Wounds heal, some take a lot of time.  And yet, there is a chance always.  I believe opportunity is limited for some people.  I believe potential is unlimited for all of us.  That’s why I’m always hopeful.  This day, this week, this year, I’m going with hope.  Come along.  Cheerio,

Don’t Fence Me Out

Hi there.  Now that the new website is here, I’m committed to rambling at least once a week.  Are you interested in rambling on my blog?  Let me know.  Seriously.  I’m open to guest blogs for things you care about.  It’s been a long two weeks here.  Almost two weeks ago, our town had an incomprehensible tragedy.  A 12-year old boy stabbed his mother to death and wounded his sister.  My fear for my community, or maybe me, was that there’d be normalizing.  I’m proud to say so many I know immediately worried about the boy.  There is a long ride ahead for the father and sister and all the members of the family.  We live in a small community.  There is great love for this family and their journey.  It is that incredible reminder that love and sorrow live side by side in our hearts.  Great love and great sorrow can be held simultaneously.

I’ve had many meetings about what the potential changes will be in the world of health care.  Will we remember that being housed is actually helpful in being healthy?  Or will we cover health matters.  Some of you saw my Facebook post commenting on Senator Susan Collins comments about how Medicare and Medicaid cover amputation of limbs for diabetics but not community health workers to monitor their blood sugar.  Thank goodness we’re talking about real things and somewhat easy fixes.  Community health workers didn’t exist in this nomenclature too many years ago.  I hope they are deeply embedded enough now to be permanent.  They are incredible people.

Where and how do we advocate for change in positive ways.  We do it the same ways.  We contact our city councils, our mayors, our county commissioners, our State legislators and our U.S. Congressmen.

I’ve been thinking a lot about fences.  We’ve done Day of Caring fences many times.  Often the fences are built at group homes so that residents can go outside.  A simple fix with a dramatic impact.  Now I’ve been wondering in most cases are fences built to keep us in or keep others out.  Make your own conclusions.

Today I had an amazing conversation.  I saw a person I respect deeply who had gather her family to say goodbye due to a bad cancer diagnosis.  Unexpectedly for their family, she was given five or six more years.  So they celebrated.  I can’t get it out of my mind.  Is that fence to keep you in or to let you out?  I don’t have a timeline.  No one’s given me one.  What have you been given?  Cheerio,

RV COAD

January 10, 2017 from 10:00 am to 11:30 am Jackson County Health and Human Services Building, 140 S Holly, Parkview Room 2188, Medford

Larry Masterman, CEM for the city of Medford, narrates archival footage from 1989 6.9 Loma Prieta earthquake near San Francisco, providing some insight into what can be expected in a large event. When it struck Larry was on duty in the city as an EMT

Appreciated

Here’s the end of the year blog.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  I’ve been stalling publishing the blog on the soon to be out of here old website and loading them into the soon to be new website.  Can’t wait.  I’m sure that’s true for some of you.

 

As I’ve been thinking about this, I thought about this year.  I don’t know too many folks desperately happy for this year to end and while we don’t want to wish away time, it seems somewhat universal this year can end.  And as always, there’s anticipation with the new.  So get ready…

 

We can’t enter it though without appreciating who you are, how you are and what you bring to our world.  My challenge for you this coming year is to let go of 2016, really let go, and choose what is yours to do in 2017.  I hope you’ll share what that might be.  I’m going to be focused on people in need.  That’s not new for United Way and yet it is going to be honed this coming year.  You can help!  If you’re interested in education, join the Big Idea movement!  Let’s get the Class of 2020 graduated and I mean the whole class!  It’s okay to aspire to 100%.  Join us!  If you’re interested in health, join us in maximizing wellness.  There are children to protect, mental health concerns for all ages, and connecting people in need to people who can help.  If you’re interested in income stability, become a VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) volunteer!  You can help schedule, prepare taxes, and be a greeter.  There’s plenty to do.  And finally, if you’re interested in transportation, help us remove barriers to work, to school, and to needed appointments.  We have a place for you and if you’re interested in something that moves you that’s different – do it!  Now’s a good time.

 

Back to appreciated.  Do you know good ole Webster’s says there are three definitions.  For me, this end of year blog, deals with all of them.  The first one is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.  Let me be clear, I appreciated your efforts this year.  United Way is the great organization we are because of the contributions of more than 1700 volunteers who serve on committees, councils, Day of Caring, campaign, you name it.  Thank you.  The second definition is full understanding of a situation.  I think we get it.  We did good this year, so others could do well.  And there’s much more to do.  You are important to our ability to do our work.   Stay involved.  Stay connected.  Engage others in your community passion.  And finally, the every cheesy, end of year appeal.  Appreciated also means an increase in monetary value.  Finally we have a standing brokerage account and can accept your appreciated stocks.  Today, tomorrow, it’s okay to call your broker and have them give shares of appreciate stock to United Way of Jackson County’s account.

 

Please share in our appreciation.  Tell people you love, you love them.  Tell people you care about what you care about.  Tell people you appreciate that you appreciate them.  On to 2017….cheerio,

October 9, 2016

I’ve been wondering who we really are.  I recently did the 23andme thing (not a commercial but it was cool).  So are who are DNA says we are.  Where does nature/nuture come in?  I was raised by the best mom in the world and she’s my stepmom although I’ve never called or thought of her as anything other than mom.  Aren’t I who she raised me to be?

I think about the kids in programs we fund and who they are.  Are they their parents?  Are they the amazing people who work with them at all the amazing kid programs we fund?  Are they their neighborhoods?  I think about older folks we help.  Are they their DNA or are they the sum of their lives?

I drive to work and look around.  And I still wonder.  I think about the Big Idea students.  They’re in 9th grade and who the heck were we when we were freshman in high school.  How do we take the next step and ensure their success.  Can you tutor an hour a week?  It’s not really scary tutoring if you just said to yourself, “No, that’s not for me!”  It’s about learning from a teacher to do an hour monitoring with a cool program called AVID.  We can all do that.  Help us to win the nature/nuture argument in a good way.  Call Talia Matthias at 541.773.5339 to sign up.  Cheerio,

October 9, 2016

It’s been an interesting week.  I started my week with lots of campaign presentations.  Tuesday was really exciting.  I talked about the nonprofit of the future.  Could it be that most services will be delivered with technology and virtually?  Some of that is already true.  It’s an interesting premise to wonder what the landscape looks like in the near term and in the longer term.  Given the information age, the knowledge age, the business to business and customer to business world is changing to the human to human world, what happens with nonprofits that care for people with people.  A new curiosity…

Tuesday also held the beginning of our Public Policy Committee!  It’s exciting to take this formal step toward policy work.  Watch this space for cool stuff to emerge.  Tuesday night I visited the Community Health Worker class at Rogue Community College.  The students are so inspiring and at so many different places in their lives.  One woman though walked in with her two little kids!  Hector and his little sister sat all the way through class and were so well behaved.  No peeps, no distractions.  They were amazing!  Hector wants to go to college.  Don’t you think he will for sure after having sat through classes with his mom!  She didn’t have care for them.  I thought wow that’s the best care!

Wednesday brought this month’s WiLL Council meeting as we prep for our 12th annual luncheon.  The check-in was amazing.  We start our meetings with check-ins so everyone’s voice is heard and physically, mentally, emotionally, we all enter the room.  It was worth the meeting!  The question was about what you might like to be remembered for and/or something that came from your grandmother.  Women cried.  There was such power in the room.  Thursday brought such an inspiring lunch with Grandpa Bruce!  He’s a Foster Grandparent at Orchard Hill and his story was so moving and he loves those kids in kindergarten.  What a gift for him, for the kids, for the schools and for our community!

And now it’s Friday!  Phew!  It’s been a bit of a blur but one that’s filled with gratitude for people along the way.  Cheerio,

September 27, 2016

They’re so stressed; they can’t tell a real tiger from a paper tiger.”

I’ve been thinking and writing in my head every day getting ready for our new website launch.  And I keep getting from Jan; say about that blog you’re writing.  There have been so many things to write and nothing was falling out in the right order for me to ramble which is what I do when I blog.  (Funny just had a typo that said glob.)

Today when driving to work, I was listening to this year’s cabinet CD.  Each year, our campaign cabinet selects a song that inspires them to do this work.  Sharilyn Cano had selected “Nothing More.”  It’s a cool song.  Here are some of the words…

To be humble, to be kind.
It is the giving of the peace in your mind.
To a stranger, to a friend
To give in such a way that has no end.We are Love
We are One
We are how we treat each other when the day is done.
We are Peace
We are War
We are how we treat each other and nothing more

As I was singing away in my car, I saw a woman so exasperated digging in her purse and she started to cry.  She was doing a lot of things in that moment:  digging in her purse, trying to cross the street, and with whatever else was going on, it became too much.  I wanted to stop.  I didn’t.  I got to the light and there was a man who had a cart full of things, wearing a big heavy coat (it’s not that cold yet) and had his face planted against a store window.  I wondered what he was thinking and doing.  What might he be seeing in that store front?  I kept driving when the light turned green and the song was still playing.

Friday night, I went to see the documentary “Paper Tigers.”  It’s a documentary about creating a trauma informed high school in Walla Walla, Washington.  The principal had amazing results.  To me, the film is about de-escalating students and then talking about what’s up rather than talking about what’s up in the moment.  I kept thinking about how easy I am to talk to when I’m fired up.  How about you?  There’s an amazing line in the movie.  The principal is talking about the students and the levels of toxic stress in their lives.  He said, “They’re so stressed; they can’t tell a real tiger from a paper tiger.”

Paper tiger is a literal English translation of the Chinese phrase zhilaohu. The term refers to something that seems threatening but is ineffectual and unable to withstand challenge.  We all know adults who deal with so much stress it holds true.  Imagine taking just a few moments to de-escalate those around us and then talk.  It’s okay to know how people are.  For real.  Not that hey how are you and let’s go moment.  Take a breath.  Ask.  Listen.  And acknowledge.  Life is fast.  If we remember we are how we treat each other and nothing more.  Cheerio,